Saturday, July 11, 2009

Music Scores

Posted by Dr. Park, M.D. at 10:00 PM 0 comments
I had the opportunity to read through Mozart's Sonata for Two Pianos (K. 448) with a good friend of mine, Andrew Mariano. Upon arriving home from Turkey Run with my small group (which was an amazing experience,) I gave Andrew a call for him to pick me up. We entered the music building and clumsily pushed a piano (the wheels were locked) from one practice room into another. From the very first notes, I felt bad for Andrew because of the huge difference in the levels of our respective piano technique. You could say it was like Nodame with Chiaki, except unlike Nodame, I had no talent whatsoever, though I did dodge that A# in the beginning (any Nodame Cantabile fans out there?)

After practicing for a while, Andrew and I started practicing on our own, and for him, that meant some serious literature. Among the pieces he played were Liszt's transcription of Beethoven's 7th Symphony, Debussy's l'Isle Joyeuse, and Rachmaninoff's Third Piano Concerto. I stopped practicing on my own, saving myself the embarassment of practicing pieces in the likes of Schubert's Piano Sonata No. 16 and Mozart's Piano Sonata No. 2.

As I watched Andrew practice, I was reading along the score. There's definitely a new level of appreciation one has for a piece if one takes time to read the score. The human performer cannot perfectly replicate what the composer had in mind. What we derive from the score is subjective in the sense that the way we perceive the score is unique. Only the composer knows how the piece is intended to be performed, and to convey the piece in its perfect ideal state, the composer must adorn the score with instructive words and phrases and punctuations.

Yet still when we try our best to follow the instructions laid out by the composer, performers seem to add their own personal bias, leading to not the original interpretation the composer had intended, but their own unique interpretation. Technically, that means the interpretation is imperfect, since it failed to accurately depict what the composer wanted. True, the new interpretation may be superior (such as how I feel about how inadequate Rachmaninoff's interpretations are of his own piano concerti,) but that is not the point I want to make.

When I look upon that score, I feel joy and excitement in the fact that I'm looking at the author's personal instructions. Though we fail to interpret the piece perfectly according to the score through playing music, one cannot argue against what is written in ink. As I gaze upon the score, I notice intricacies never noticed before when I merely listened to the piece. I hear the imperfections of the performer because the score states otherwise. Reading every note, every marking, and every word, I try to hear the piece as the composer had originally intended for it to be heard.

The point is, the Bible is in a way, no different from a music score. The Word contains God's instructions and describes what He originally intended for humans to be. When we interpret the Word, due to our imperfect minds and our bias and tendency towards sin, our interpretations can come out tainted and do not accurately reflect what God was trying to say. I'm not saying that no good comes out of our interpretations, because I find myself blessed all the time when I hear insightful and meaningful interpretations from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Rather, I am trying to say that our model of Christianity is imperfect due to our imperfect human nature, in that we are incapable of fully deriving the true and perfect essence of the Word.

As we live our lives, we need to be deeply rooted within the scriptures, just as any performance must find its foundation within the score. When we merely hear the Word of God being preached to us, I think it's just like listening to a piece. Such an experience is usually great, but I think it's more crucial for us to dive into the Word ourselves. I stated previously that there's a greater level of appreciation for a piece once you read the score. There's a new sense of intimacy and awe as you read what the composer had originally intended. Likewise, there's great intimacy in studying the Word yourself, and seeing firsthand what God wants from us. There's a new level of depth as you study the Word, many things that go unnoticed when one listens to someone else talking about it.

I'm not trying to take away from the importance of going to services either. It's important to listen to what other people obtain from the Word, for just as a performer's interpretation is unique, what one gains from reading the Bible can be unique too, and I think it's important as a Christian to actively listen to insights offered by other people. Study as I might the music score, there will still be a lot of things that go unnoticed by me, a lot of which that others may have noticed. It's important for any performer to listen to interpretations of other professionals, as it is important for us to hear messages given by pastors, whom by attending seminary are in essence, professionals at interpreting and presenting the Word.

I know I haven't written in a while. I know I haven't been able to keep up with my quiet times, but just because I don't write in here doesn't mean that I've neglected my quiet time for those days. I'm still making my way through Proverbs and hope that I can share my insights here when I get the chance. After leaving the music building, I was simply thinking about this and thought I would like to share it.

Peace, good night. I am very sleepy.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Priceless Wisdom

Posted by Dr. Park, M.D. at 7:32 PM 1 comments
Proverbs 3:9-16 (NIV / NASB / ESV)

Wow, I was completely caught off guard by Steve's wake up call for morning prayer. I had stayed up until 5 AM last night, thinking I could sleep in today, but I had completely forgotten about morning prayer. Needless to say, I wasn't very happy to wake up at 6 AM but somehow I managed to convince myself to go. I was too sleepy to do my quiet time then. It was a struggle enough to stay awake... sigh, I must be more disciplined and aware of my schedule.

Afterwards, I picked up Jeff Ma's keyboard because I'm playing the hymn for this weekend's Sunday service. Though I've performed countless times with violin, this will be my first time I'm playing the piano for people, and needless to say, I'm very nervous. Please pray that I don't completely ruin everyone's Sunday service and for steady hands!

Last night, Grace Ro and Tiffany Wang met me at the music building to do "auditions" for new people doing hymns. I felt extremely embarrassed playing for them, not exactly sure why, apart from my abysmal playing. Regardless, I'm grateful for this opportunity to use the gifts God had given me, and whether I screw up or perform flawlessly, I should keep in mind that this is for God's pleasing.

Prior to this, I watched Up for the second time with my small group (those that were left on campus). I couldn't help but notice how attached Carl Frederickson was to his house and belongings, and how that was inhibiting him from recognizing and fulfilling something greater, which to him was helping Russell and Kevin. In that same way, I could relate in the sense that I am pretty materialistic, and that some possessions of mine do get in the way of seeing and acknowledging what's greater in my life, which is God.

I talked about this with Fei tonight, when I had met her for dinner (if I had known she would had treated me, I wouldn't have proposed to go to Chili's... so expensive). We were talking about tithing, and material possessions, and how recently God taught me a lesson in not being attached to my worldly possessions by breaking my things and making them disappear. Isn't this what the passage is talking about?

Proverbs 3 continues from the last chapter in listing the different benefits we obtain from spiritual wisdom, and this passage talks about returning a portion of our wealth to God and how the wisdom we can obtain from the Word is far more precious than anything in this universe.

Tithing has always been difficult for me, and it's an on-going struggle. Why it is so difficult, I don't know, considering that with my income, it's only about $40 a month. Yet my sinful nature always tells me that I can use that $40 to obtain something that I would want. How am I supposed to tithe in the future with a real income, when I can't even tithe $40? Sure, I may only be a measly undergraduate student with such a low income, that I may not be able to spare the $40, but certainly will not my living expenses become greater so that I could not afford the greater tithe in the future? Also, suppose I must tithe $400, then would not the temptation of not tithing be ten times greater, for the opportunity cost is one magnitude greater?

Fact is, I really need to detach myself from my worldly possessions, and grow dependence on heaven's treasures. The passage makes it clear that nothing I will ever obtain on Earth will be as valuable as what I can gain from reading Proverbs. I Kings 3:6-9 (NIV / NASB / ESV) contains a prayer by Solomon asking God for wisdom. Continuing on, it reveals that God was pleased with such an earnest and humble prayer, and Solomon was rewarded with not only the wise and discerning heart for which he had asked, but even more treasures.

Pray that I may become wise and see that my material possessions are worth nothing. I earnestly pray for the priceless wisdom that was granted to Solomon. May I realize the true worth of wisdom, and seek it before I seek anything else. In that realization, pray that I may become more faithful in my tithing, for nothing I have could have been obtained without God's grace and mercy. I will dwell on the fact that nothing I have is deserved, not even my life, so let me be all the more thankful to God for what I have, and find pure joy in returning a portion of my income back to Him.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Busy Wednesdays

Posted by Dr. Park, M.D. at 5:23 PM 0 comments
Proverbs 2 (NIV / NASB / ESV)

Wednesdays are so busy... this morning, I felt sick and missed morning prayer too. Having woken up at 5:30 AM, I quickly read the second chapter and passed out.

This post is merely to remind myself, I'm still keeping to my commitment for daily QTs.